random karaoke pictures: I like Dan’s idea of hitting the road and hustling karaoke bars like in Duets. My repertoire is almost there…
You’ve lost that loving feeling
Moral support
Me with a silly grin
Me with another silly grin
An older pic of Dan and me
Cross language MonoDevelop demos: Lluis has some impressive demos of using MonoDevelop to write and debug cross language (C#, Java, Boo) applications in mono.
Cigarettes: quitting smoking is a bitch.
Tags: Personal
May 18th, 2005 at 7:52 am
I agree that quitting smoking is a pain in the ass. I am in the process of at least considering quitting for good as well. I was talking to a friend that had been a smoker for over 12 years (and she’s my age…ouch!) Who gave it up cold turkey and feels great about her decision. But not everyone is like that. I can’t remember how many times I have tried to quit over my 10 year smoking career.
I figure you got to look at it this way: today I will not smoke. Or if that doesn’t work say “for this moment I will not smoke.” the most important thing is to stay busy. If you want to smoke, go take a walk, clean your bathroom, or call someone just to say hi. It will definitely help you take your mind off of it. Believe me, it works.
And btw- “Duets” was an awful movie. I’ll have to add that to my list of movies to avoid;)
May 18th, 2005 at 8:51 am
I think the key is that you have to really be ready to quit. You can’t do it half-assed. And once you’re ready you do have to keep busy. Seems like every time I’m idle I find myself reaching for my cigarettes and then realize they aren’t there. Last night when I got home I killed an hour of my time doing chores like laundry and dishes and then another hour making and eating dinner. I could have chosen to eat something quick and easy but ended up making rice, cutting a bunch of vegetables/kielbasa and making a stir fry. After dinner I went for a bit of exercise, played in a poker tournament online, and then watched a movie. I hardly thought about smoking all night…
May 18th, 2005 at 11:40 am
Where did you get your rice cooker? Me want to buy one…
May 18th, 2005 at 11:55 am
It was a gift. It’s a panasonic. I think the model I have is this one. It’s also nice for steaming vegetables.
May 18th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
Good for you. Glad it’s working out.
May 18th, 2005 at 10:16 pm
I find it odd and interesting that many of us are on the same thinking patterns, even if we haven’t seen each other in a bit. Wacky.
May 19th, 2005 at 6:22 am
Me again, sorry. Really I could care less about your private life, but you made it public, and the thought occured to me, so until you disable public access, you can probably expect more questions you don’t like from stangers (not from me though).
Basically I noticted that *I* couldn’t fit that many white people into my photos if I tried since about about 6th grade, and I thought it might be fruitful for us to think about if for a while. Perhaps I was expecting something more thoughtful than “I know a token black guy”, or perhaps my problem is that I’ve never lived in the US.
Your friend Stephanie (once again I’m not the one making your friendships public, sorry) seems the type be more interested in warm-fuzzies than serious questions, so I appologise for offending her sensibilities. All those likewise easily offended can feel free to ignore anything that doesn’t make them feel nice.
Once again, I don’t intend to judge anyone, I just posed a question to be though about or ignored as it pleases the reader. If you feel you have to defend yourself, then you’ve missed what little point I had.
May 19th, 2005 at 8:35 am
Your friend Stephanie (once again I’m not the one making your friendships public, sorry) seems the type be more interested in warm-fuzzies than serious questions, so I appologise for offending her sensibilities.
And you really seem quick to jump to conclusions about people you don’t know. Honestly I don’t think any of us posting comments were offended. I’ve had a public blog for several years now and believe me, I’ve gotten plenty of flames at various points. That’s the nature of the internet and its impersonal nature.
Once again, I don’t intend to judge anyone, I just posed a question to be though about or ignored as it pleases the reader. If you feel you have to defend yourself, then you’ve missed what little point I had.
I just thought your question was a strange one. Who cares what skin colour my friends have? I never give it a thought. Since your question lacked context or further explanation I didn’t know the spirit in which you intended it. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt in my reply. (If I had known for a fact you were accusing me or insulting me, I wouldn’t have bothered replying.)
So anyway, enough of this. Thanks for posting and fleshing out your thoughts more.
May 19th, 2005 at 11:41 pm
“I never give it a thought.”
I think that was my only point, perhaps you should.
Anyway, cheers, I’m off to a party!
May 20th, 2005 at 8:16 am
It’s an interesting thought- Is racial diversity among peer groups something to strive for, even to create? Should white folks in the U.S., individually, adopt a sort of micro-scale affirmative action?
I’ve always thought that friendships happen spontaneously and naturally, and if we all happen to be of the same Anglo-American background, well.. that’s just how it plays out; it doesn’t mean were racist. Maybe so. But perhaps it is worthwhile to consider the question of what, if anything, should be done.
I read recently that St. Louis, in spite of having an almost equal split of black/white residents, continues to be very segregated, with people of color in St. Louis proper and all the white people out in the County. Of course there are exceptions. But having lived in the city in a mostly black and hispanic area, I admit that my friends pretty much remained suburban and white.
I wonder if this issue has more to do with class than with race (although implicity it becomes about race, if people are “classed” according to race). I propose the idea because, for most of us who are white, middle-class, mid-western Americans, we live and work in communities that are for the most part homogeneous. Every city I’ve ever lived in or near follows this same pattern: lots of white people out in the suburbs, lots of black and hispanic people in the city. (Interestingly, Asian people assimilate well in the suburbs or the city, perhaps because most are first or second generation immigrants and retain the culture of their mother country?)
When large groups of people who share similar backgrounds live together geographically, that community begins to take on it’s own personality, replete with social habits, pastimes, even insider lingo. This makes cross-cultural friendships a stretch for both parties, and most people are content to say, “I’m not racist, but all my friends happen to be .. (fill in the blank)”.
Personally, I’ve known precious few non-Anglo people. But from the limited experience I’ve had I will say that there is a tremendous difference between a friendship joining two people of different race but similar background, and one joining, say, a black woman from the city and white soccer mom from the suburbs. I would make friends with greater facility with an African-American who has similar beliefs, education and interests, than I would with a white person who’s lived in an urban environment and was raised with it’s values and social structure.
This may be the way things are but it isn’t something I think we should just sit back smugly and be satisfied with; particularly because the black and hispanic populations in our country are largely confined to poverty and poor education. I heard a young black woman on NPR the other week, saying she despised the typifying of African Americans as uneducated, morally loose, crime-prone. But it came out that she was raised in the suburbs with money and good schools and most of her black friends from childhood were now doctors and lawyers. What for her is reality, is not even a dream for a great number of her race, in America. White Suburbians can make the *choice* to live in the city and even find it sort of hip or asthetically pleasing, but most people of color in the United States don’t have the same option to move into the upper-middle class world.
Any helpful thoughts or ideas, anyone?
May 20th, 2005 at 9:27 am
I think most people gravitate towards people of similar backgrounds and interests. You sort of have to fight against momentum to do otherwise. St. Louis is one of the worst cities in the country for segregation and “white flight.” While there has been a lot of effort lately to revitalize downtown, and progress is being made, the typically white middle to upper class continue to move further and further out of the city limits. While I don’t judge anyone for their reasons for moving to a specific place, I personally find this trend disturbing. What perhaps is even more disturbing is that the citizens of these outer suburbs continue to vote down efforts such as MetroLink expansion that would improve the situation, offering greater mingling, a chance for city dwellers without cars to find jobs in the county, and make it convenient for those living in West County and outlying areas to make it into the city, thus stimulating the city economy, job growth, and offering incentive for growth. I know it sounds like I’m approaching the problem strictly from an economical point of view, but that’s because I believe economics is at the heart of the problem.
Ain’t that the truth? There are things that individuals can do. My parents attend New City Fellowship, a multi-cultural church here in St. Louis city. The church’s mission is to provide a place where all people regardless of racial or economic background, can come together and worship. They also work to restore neighborhoods by physically remodeling and rebuilding homes and by personally moving into those rejected neighborhoods of St. Louis. My parents now live in one of the homes that New City Development built in a neighborhood that is being revitalized North of Delmar. They have to tread carefully, though. They run the risk of driving up the property values in some of the neighborhoods and making it so that residents that have lived there for years can no longer afford property taxes.
Personally I live in the city for mostly selfish reasons. I love the culture and diversity. I work in West County and to me the homes all look the same, the strip malls all look the same, the people all look the same. Nat Friedman once said,
I laughed out loud when I read that because to me that is exactly how I feel about the suburbs, in many cases. Where I live I can sit on my balcony and watch people and they’re all beautifully different. I’ll see a well-to-do white gentleman parking his new red mustang across the street. Then I’ll see an Chinese couple with their two children walking on the sidewalk towards the park. I’ll say ‘hello’ to my neighbours, a couple of young white professionals, and talk for a bit with the young black maintenance guy for our buildings. All my neighbours are great and easy to get to know. It doesn’t come naturally for me, but I try to make it a point to say “good day” or “hi” to most people I pass by as I walk, towards the park, the gardens, or a cafe. I think that changing years and years of history of bad relations across economic and racial boundaries begins with small steps: a kind word and a smile.