It’s been a bittersweet couple of weeks. First the sweet: I’ve gone back to BJC, this time as a contractor. I had a wonderful Independence Day weekend with friends. I’ve been playing some of the best poker of my life, nearly doubling my bankroll in two weeks. And my brother, Micah, asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding.
Now for the bitter: Micah is in the Emergency Room at the hospital right now with horrible abdominal pain and digestive problems. There is clearly something genetic at work: I have Crohn’s disease and my brother Noah has some form of IBS. The doctor is very concerned right now that something serious is wrong with Micah. At this point we’re just waiting for the diagnosis. The other bad news is that Micah is without health insurance right now. My health has been pretty bad lately too which has really been getting me down. I know it’s time for me to go back to the doctor and make some lifestyle changes. I’m just one of those people for whom change does not come easily. I don’t have much self-discipline when it comes to healthy living. I’d love suggestions from people who have overcome inertia to quit smoking, eat better, exercise regularly, drink less, and the like. I go through periods where I do great, but then I fall back on my bad habits. I’m probably getting a bit too personal for a syndicated blog, but what the hell…
To end on a more positive note, I read a fantastic Auden poem on one of my favourite blogs today:
At Last the Secret Is Out
At last the secret is out, as it always must come in the end,
The delicious story is ripe to tell to the intimate friend;
Over the tea-cups and in the square the tongue has its desire;
Still waters run deep, my dear, there’s never smoke without fire.Behind the corpse in the reservoir, behind the ghost on the links,
Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks,
Under the fatigue, the attack of migraine and the sigh
There is always another story, there is more than meets the eye.For the clear voice suddenly singing, high up in the convent wall,
The scent of the elder bushes, the sporting prints in the hall,
The croquet matches in summer, the handshake, the cough, the kiss,
There is always a wicked secret, a private reason for this.~ W.H. Auden
I think that is a beautiful way to view life and the interactions you have with people.
Tags: Crohn's Disease, Personal
July 14th, 2005 at 7:31 am
I’m a crohnicle myself. But is several years that the desease has become quiescent; though i’m now facing another kind of autoimmune disturb (nose-centered).
I wish all the luck to you and your brother.
July 14th, 2005 at 10:00 am
my best advice for quitting smoking was stop looking outside yourself, you just have ot commit to a “one day at a time”‘ approach. every single day you get up and promise ot your self (not your friends/family) that you arent going to smoke. every single day you will want to go back on your word, and will have to face up to this. eventually it gets easier, but there is no magic bullet, it just takes daily renewed commitment. it took me like 5 years ad 10 attempts to finally understand that with myself. good luck.
July 14th, 2005 at 10:52 am
Thanks for the encouragement, Atonio and fsasadfasd.
July 14th, 2005 at 11:40 am
Jamin, I am very sorry to hear about Micah. If you want to lead a healthier lifestyle then you need to take things one day at a time. Set small goals up for yourself, and give yourself a reward method when suprassing your goals. That is how I dealt and deal with things.
July 14th, 2005 at 1:05 pm
Well you know as well as our other friends that after a year and a half of NOT smoking I started back up. In college I had quit for a 2 year period. The only way I was able to quit in the first place was because I had made up MY mind that I did NOT want to smoke anymore… then quit cold turkey. Yeah, you are going to have urges… but you have to think about something else. I found when I first quit that every time I wanted one it helped to chew on a straw or stick a piece of gum in my mouth. Granted, you are replacing one bad habit with another by doing so, but at least doing these things hasn’t proven to be cancerous yet. And although you cannot QUIT for anyone else but YOU, it does help to have the support of friends when quitting… they need to be quick to repremand you for caving into your cravings and they need to remind you why you quit in the first place. Have you ever noticed that when you start smoking again, you always have a reason? Well, maybe I shouldn’t assume that you make excuses for it, but I sure do… right now mine is because I’m so stressed out and it helps me relax. Of course this is a bunch of BS, but I’m being honest and telling you this is where I am at right now. Tell you what… I am willing to give it an HONEST go, if you are. Maybe we can help encourage each other to live a healthier life. We can start on a Monday (this next Monday if you are ready)… it’s not easy to quit on a weekend when you know you are going to be out with friends and having fun.
July 14th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
By the way, I hope everything is alright with your brother. Let me know if you need anything!
July 14th, 2005 at 1:14 pm
Stephanie: I definitely make excuses. And stress is probably the biggest one I use. I’d be up for quitting with ya…
July 14th, 2005 at 1:35 pm
So you want to quit on Monday then? If so, try something… everytime you smoke a cigarette, until Monday… tell yourself the entire time you are smoking that it tastes disgusting, it smells… concentrate on the taste and smell it leaves on your breathe and the way your clothes smell (esp. if you go to a bar… if you don’t smoke in your apartment, smell your clothes when you get home, you will be able to notice it TONS more) This last time I quit, it was easy. I went to my mom’s in Texas and I shut all my things in the room I was staying in. I went to visit with my mom for a spell and after about two hours I went back in the room. I kid you not… it smelled like skunk… no exaggeration!!!! I thought… is this what non-smokers smell when I come around? My mom and I then washed every piece of clothing I had brought (I had packed ALL clean clothes, but because I smoked in my house they reeked!) we washed the clean sheets and comforter my mom had put out for me, because in that two hour period those stank too… then we fabreezed the hell out of the room. That was a lot of trouble and I decided, it was absolutely disgusting and I wasn’t going to do it anymore. But it took ME deciding that I smelled to quit… my mom had been complaining about it for years, but I never listened. I don’t even know how I started back up, but I let it happen so now I have to quit. I don’t like it, it tastes gross to me, it hurts my chest when I smoke and I know it doesn’t look attractive when I do it. Another trick I had when I quit this last time, set short goals for yourself (sounds stupid, but it REALLY works)… first tell yourself “I have gone ___ hours without a cigarette (I started at the twelve hour mark) let’s see if I can do ___ hours. At 24 hours I said… I just went a whole day without smoking…. I want to try for 48 hours… keep adding to it, and be encouraging and proud of yourself. It’s no easy task to quit cold turkey, so when you can go even 12 hours without one, you have done a great thing! Remind yourself of that! Well I’m pumped up now… so how about it then? This Monday?
July 14th, 2005 at 1:39 pm
If you’re ready, let’s do it Monday. Or did you want to smoke on the float trip? I don’t care either way.
July 14th, 2005 at 1:47 pm
I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but you are right… it would probably be to easy to cave - being out of our element and all - to stick to it that weekend. So a week from Monday then. Everyone that checks in here is now a witness… July 25th… the second we wake up that morning… we are non-smokers. Good luck to you Jamin… no. No luck to it… we will do it! I have faith in us!
July 14th, 2005 at 1:50 pm
May the force be with us.
July 15th, 2005 at 4:24 am
My mom had a Smoking Cessation packet at home when I visited the other day. It was all health related being that she is an MSN. What I read about quitting was that it’s best to quit if you replace the bad habit with a good one, ie chewing gum or exercising. It also matters why you psychologically are additicted to smoking. Most people smoke because it relieves stress, exercise or meditation or yoga relieves stress, so maybe taking up something that will be a healthier way of relievings stress will help. I quit for 10 years and then started again. Who knows why exactly but I replaced healthy fuctions with non-healthy functions. Now I find I’m more psychologically addicted than physically. I have also found that Budeprion (generic Wellbutrin) is a great help to quitting, as after a week (you take it a week or so before quitting) the physical cravings are completely gone. I quit for two months then, but it was an active decision for me to start again. It’s all about what you decide and sticking to it. It’s difficult at first, but once you get in the habit of doing healthy activities (replacing the bad activitiy) it falls into place after a while.
July 15th, 2005 at 8:46 am
I’ve already told Jamin about an ad I heard on the radio. There’s a technique called auricular therapy that supposedly has an 80% chance of eliminating your cravings for cigarettes. It sounds kind of like voodoo - applying light and low electrical stimulation to “energy meridians”, mostly around your ear - but the technique is spreading more and more. The ad I heard was for local place (Easy Way), but I’ve noticed several other local firms doing the same thing. It costs $125, so for the price of a month of smokes, it’s almost worth trying it. Could be complete bullshit (though it sounds mostly like a form of acupuncture to me), but at least there are no crystals involved.
July 15th, 2005 at 2:59 pm
Since I am no place to quit smoking, I can’t say much on the subject. However as you know I have quit drinking. How did I do it? Admit I was powerless, that it was controling my life and the only way to rid myself of this compulsion to drink was pure abstinence. This was not easy and at times, it still isn’t, but I keep working at it.
I think that there are a lot of great comments posted here on how to quit. A buddy system is good, someone to be accountable to. I was planning on quiting smoking this week but with moving and crap, I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Best of luck in changing your life around. But make sure you are entirely ready for complete change.
I’ll say a prayer for Micah.
July 15th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
ever hear about the Maker’s Diet. He, the author, apparently suffered from Crohns and IBS. He has a popular 40 day-diet plan/book out that tells how he was cured. If that doesn’t help, then yea, I’d try the force- the real force, that is+
July 16th, 2005 at 2:53 pm
Funny that you should mention the Maker’s Diet. My mom gave me that book a while back and I have just started to read it recently. His story is certainly compelling even if his diet is a bit extreme. I’m reading it with an open mind, though.
August 19th, 2005 at 1:16 pm
Some advice….
I smoked for 26 years, started when I was 12. I had a baby girl last year, smoked through the pregnancy, and luckily she was just fine, good birth weight at 8 lbs. and was even born 10 days late. I was lucky.
After having a few scary episodes when I could not breathe, even with my inhalers and nebulizer, I went to a pulmonologist. He told me I’d be dead in 15 years if I didn’t quit smoking. Having my daughter put things into perspective for me, and I made a promise to her that I would quit.
The Dr. gave a me a prescription for Budeprion (Wellbutrin) and Nicotine inhalers, and told me to buy the patches. It has been 9 weeks, I’m off the patch after being on them for 8 weeks, I use the nicotine inhaler very sparingly (2 cartridges a day) and I have not touched a cigarette. I can’t stand to be around smoke, and I can smell it on people a mile away. It stinks and makes my stomach turn.
I can actually taste food now, and above all I can breathe. I’m asthmatic, and have not had to use any of my inhalers since I quit smoking.
Just do it. I wish you the best of luck.